Final Showdown

October 6, 2005

Dick: So, how is everyone reacting to this death threat?
Alberto: It depends. Is anyone on the platform a registered mutant?
Dick makes an arbitrary justice roll - 12.
Dick: No.
Alberto: In that case, I'm going to come out with my hands up.
Dick: Condi-R?
Condi: I'll do the same.
Dick: Donald-R?
Donald: Not disobeying the orders of a BLUE, thank you.
Dick: George-R?
George: I'm going to...well damn. I've got the fanatics in the same car as me. "Go ahead. I'm going to check the transbot for safety hazards. I'll be out in just a minute."
Dick: John-R?
John: I just want off, at this point. I'll do as I'm told.
Dick: Samuel-R?
Samuel: You know what I'm doing.
Dick: Oh yes. That. Tom-R?
Tom: I'm going to make sure I get a good shot of the BLUE and his goons. I also want to make sure each compliant Troubleshooter is visible.
Dick passes George a note: So, what are you really doing?
George passes Dick a note: As soon as everyone is out of sight, I'm going to check the cargo in the caboose and make sure nothing has broken open.
Dick passes Samuel a note: The front door of the caboose opens, and someone walks inside.
Dick rolls in secret - 19.
Samuel passes Dick a note: I'll ready my truncheon to bash the brains out of whoever comes close to the crates.
Dick rolls in secret - 15.
Dick passes George a note: The crate with the many warning signs and the crate with the nukes is still intact. The biohazard crate looks like it's seen better days, but it's probably just cosmetic damage. Make me a Sneaking check.
Dick passes Samuel a note: Make me a Sneaking check.
George rolls - 8.
Samuel rolls - 13.
Dick passes George a note: Samuel-R is waiting around the corner with his lead truncheon at the ready.
Dick passes Samuel a note: Your ears strain to hear your enemy's approach.
George: "Samuel-R, is that you? Come out. We can work this out together."
Samuel: I breathe a sigh of relief. "They're going to want the caboose. I don't know if we should give it to them. I think there's something rotten about this whole mission."
George: "I know. They've been lying to us from the start. Everyone wants what's on this caboose."
Samuel: "There are enough nukes in that crate to loft a sector or five. Maybe we can dismantle them before the traitors get them."
George: "Good idea. How much do you know about nuclear engineering?"
Samuel: "Next to nothing. And you?"
George: "Oh, I consider myself something of an expert on the topic. I've certainly fired my fair share of cone rifle tacnuke shells in my Vulture Warrior training. It was a long time ago, but I'm sure it's like learning to ride a trendstepper."
John (ooc): So, you both have a 1, then?
George (ooc): Hush, you.
Samuel (ooc): That was my thought, as well.
George: "Do you know how to open the crate?"
Samuel: "Not from the outside, no."
George: "How did you get out from the inside?"
Samuel: "Improvisations with my toolkit and a few items in the crate, which are currently inside the crate."
George: "If we can't get to the WMDs to use them as a bargaining chip and we know anyone with a shred of ambition will cheerfully kill us to get these crates, why are we still in the caboose?"
Samuel: "I don't know. Why don't you tell me? I just came in here to see if I could make the lights more energy efficient."
George (ooc): You mean the ones that haven't been on since before the Commie transbot station?
Samuel (ooc): What can I say? I'm a horrible liar.
George: "I guess that means we turn ourselves in."
Samuel: "Looks that way, George-R."
George: "After you, Samuel-R."
Samuel: "Not a chance. You leave through the front, and I'll leave through the back."
George: "It'll be obvious you've been in a higher-clearance area."
Samuel: "I'll take my chances with a fine over being shot in the back."
Dick: By now, the rest of the team has been stripped of their weapons by half the GREENs, while the other half have boarded the front and back of the caboose. The doors burst open, and slugs fly into the caboose.
George: I want to...oh shit.
Samuel: There went my big plan.
Dick: During your moment of shock and awe, the GREENs pump both of you full of lead. A short while later, the GREEN goons in the caboose come back out. "The caboose is clear. The vaults all appear to be intact." The BLUE answers them through the speakers. "Good. Check the other cars. Make sure there aren't any other heroes on board." He turns to the rest of the team and smiles warmly. "I am Osama-B-LDN. Thank you for bringing the transbot to IRQ Sector with minimal damage. Before you left FRA Sector, did any of you see a red token that looks like a plasticred?"
Donald (shouting): "Yes, sir!" I reach for the pocket where I put the token.
Dick: It appears not to be there anymore.
Osama-B: "What's the matter, citizen?"
Donald (shouting): "I had it, sir, but it appears to have been stolen from me by Commie mutant traitors!"
Dick: He motions to one of his goons, who shoots Donald-R in the back of the head, killing him.
Osama-B: "Have any of the rest of you seen it?"
Everyone shakes their heads violently.
Osama-B: "That's a pity. I will be most unhappy if it is not found. I might have to paint all of you with the same color red as Donald-R, here."
Condi: I smile winningly. (Singing tunelessly) "Maybe it fell out somewhere on the transbot. We'd be happy to look everywhere for it."
Dick: What's your Bootlicking?
Condi: 14.
Dick rolls in secret - 6.
Osama-B: Very well, but don't try anything stupid. My men will be watching you for any signs of chaotic behavior.
Dick: So, who wants to search where?
Condi: I'll search the Power Services sleeper.
John: Dibs on the lounge.
Alberto: Caboose.
Tom: Humanitarian cargo car.
Dick: Alberto-R, what's your Concealment?
Alberto: 6. I'll spend my last 4 Pervs, if you'll allow it.
Dick: Yes.
Dick rolls in secret - 10.
Dick passes Alberto a note: Write a number 100 on your character sheet. You don't find anything in the caboose other than the corpses of George-R, Samuel-R, and two of the thugs, one of which has clearly been looted.
Dick: Condi-R, what's your Concealment?
Condi: 10. I'll spend 5 Pervs.
Dick rolls in secret - 7.
Dick passes Condi a note: You don't find the token. You find a note stuffed in Gordon-O's pocket, though, and none of the GREENs appears to be paying attention to you.
Condi passes Dick a note: I'll read it quickly.
Dick passes Condi a note: It reads "Don't let the WMDs fall into the hands of the IRQ Commies. Tim-O is a sympathizer. Kill him. Down with The Computer."
Condi passes Dick a note: Stuffing it back into Gordon-O's pocket and continuing to look for the red plasticred.
Dick: John-R, what's your Concealment?
John: 4.
Dick rolls in secret - 3.
Dick passes John a note: You are unique in knowing where the token is, except it appears it is no longer where you left it. Either one of the GREENs found it before you even entered the lounge and is now playing dumb, for some reason, or it fell off the bottom of the counter due to a lack of adequate adhesive. As you are pondering this question while pretending to search diligently for what you know should be there but you can no longer find, you notice that one of the GREENs has got it stuck to the bottom of his boot. It must have fallen off and then gotten stepped on - whether accidentally or deliberately.
John (ooc): Even the best laid plans... I think I've officially reached the point where I don't know who the real bad guys are.
Condi (ooc): You've just now gotten there? I stopped guessing after we got out of the transbot station of no return. I'm looking forward to some explanation of this little exercise in hose jobs, once this is over.
Dick: Tom-R, what's your Concealment?
Tom: 10, but I'll spend 5 to raise it to 15.
Dick rolls in secret - 3.
Dick passes Tom a note: You don't find the token you're looking for, but you find the PDC that belonged to one Tim-O's previous clones. There's something on the screen. None of the GREENs is looking at you.
Tom passes Dick a note: I'll read it quickly.
Dick passes Tom a note: There appears to be a cmail from a certain Abraham-B-LCN. "Osama-B is with PURGE. Make sure John-R-KRY gets the WMDs. Sabotage the transbot, if you must."
Tom passes Dick a note: I document it with an X-1000 and quickly turn it off, leaving it where I found it.
Tom (ooc): Why do I get the feeling that this would all make a lot more sense if we shared our information?
George (ooc): It probably would, but what are the chances of that happening?
Condi (ooc): Somewhere between zero and ah ha ha ha no, I'd imagine.
Dick: Osama-B is clearly unhappy that the red token has not been located. He orders his goons to search you all to the skin. Anyone resisting?
No one does.
Dick: They don't find what they're looking for. Donald-R, George-R, and Samuel-R arrive from FRA Sector. The goons search them, too, but clearly, none of you have what they want.
Osama-B: It looks like I am going to have to kill all of you. I will make arrangements so you don't remember this little mission.
Most of the players start begging for their lives with an obvious note of desperation.
John (ooc): Oh screw it.
George (ooc): John. What are you doing?
John: "I know where the red token is, and I'll tell you because the Commies don't want you to have it."
Osama-B: "Of course they don't! Tell me!"
John: "One of your goons hid it on the bottom of his boot. I saw it when he was walking. I wonder why a GREEN goon would want such a thing on the bottom of his boot..."
Osama-B: "Which one?"
John: I point at the one I saw had the token.
Dick: At a glare from Osama-B, he lifts up one foot, displaying the red token there. Osama-B gestures, and the other GREENs pepper the culprit with slugs. Osama-B retrieves the red token.
Osama-B: "Follow me. For the glory of the Greater Good, I think you all should see this."
Dick: Anyone refusing?
No one does.
Dick: Osama-B waves the token in front of the vault of nukes. There is a clang as the bolts draw back. Osama-B opens the door and looks inside.
Osama-B: "Isn't it beautiful? Imagine ten of these going off in every sector at the same time!"
Dick: Anyone doing anything?
Donald: Where are we in relation to the vault door and the goons?
Dick: Osama-B is standing in the entrance of the vault. You are in a sort of semicircle around the entrance. His goons are standing at your flanks.
Tom looks at Donald, who nods.
John and Condi make eye contact.
Alberto looks at each player at the table and grins.
Samuel looks at George and shrugs.
Dick: Actions?
Alberto: I'm going to run past Osama-B and into the vault, waving to get his attention.
Condi: I'll run toward the goons at the back to draw their fire.
Donald: I'll wait until Osama-B is distracted and then charge into his back, pushing him into the vault.
George: I'll grab the vault door and pull it shut to provide cover as I run inside.
John: I'll run toward the goons at the front to draw their fire.
Samuel: I'll help George-R close the vault door behind us.
Tom: Running past Osama-B on the other side and into the vault, also trying to get his attention.
Dick: The goons will fire at the charging Troubleshooters. Osama-B will try to stop Alberto-R from going into the vault, turning his back on Donald-R at a crucial moment.
Dick rolls lots of dice and ignores most of the results.
Dick: Alberto-R and Tom-R distract Osama-B nicely. Donald-R easily pushes him into the vault with him. George-R and Samuel-R close the vault door behind them, which locks solidly. The goons gun down Condi-R and John-R and then realize their mistake in dealing with the immediate threat first. The vault filled with nuclear warheads only opens from the outside, and Osama-B is now locked inside the vault with the only key. Great job, Troubleshooters. It's too bad your reward will likely be posthumous.
Alberto: Oh, we're not done, yet.
Donald: Nope. We're going to subdue Osama-B.
Alberto: Once he's subdued, I'm going to interrogate him.
George: Osama-B is going to give us a full confession.
Tom: And I'm going to make sure we have it all on the official mission record - with the torture edited out, of course.
Samuel: While they're interrogating, I'm going rig up that device for opening the door from inside.
John: And before I respawn at the mission zone, I intend to give a full report on events to The Computer or whoever the Commie briefing officer is.
John passes Dick a note: If it's The Computer, I'll burn my last 5 Pervs to use Machine Empathy on it to convince it that the other Troubleshooters have captured a dangerous, high-ranking traitor, but that we will need its help to bring that traitor to justice.
Condi: Same here.
Condi passes Dick a note: If it's the briefing officer, I'm going to use Charm and spend 5 Pervs to convince him to spill the truth about our mission to The Computer.
Dick rolls some dice and ignores the results.
Dick: Okay, Condi-R somehow sings Abraham-B-LCN into confessing his crimes to The Computer. The Computer, strangely enough, sends a company of Vulture Warriors to extract the Troubleshooter team from IRQ Sector. They arrive and chase off the last of the goons and then settle down to find a way to get you out of the vault before the radiation kills you all. Samuel-R's little device gets you out a short while later, and you hand over Osama-B's taped confession to the Vulture Warriors. We will now proceed to debriefing and accusations.

GM - Vice President Cheney
Alberto-R-GZS-1 (Alberto) - Attorney General Alberto Gonzales
Condi-R-ICE-1 (Condi) - Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice
Donald-R-UMI-1 (Donald) - Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld
George-R-BSH-1 (George) - President George W. Bush
John-R-SNO-1 (John) - Secretary of Treasury John Snow
Samuel-R-BMN-1 (Samuel) - Secretary of Energy Samuel Bodman
Tom-R-IDG-1 (Tom) - Former Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge

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