Transbot Wrecks

October 4, 2005

Condi (ooc): Donald, you team-killer! What are you doing?
Donald (ooc): Getting you before you get me.
Dick: Now that we have combat in progress, we'll return to our regularly scheduled turns. Condi-R?
Condi: I'm snafued, but my tic no longer protects you. I'm going to draw my laser and charge the door where the grenade came from.
Dick: You reach it. You even have time to open it, if you want...
Condi: I'll hold off until I can actually fire at the bastard behind the door.
Dick: Fair enough. Donald-R?
Donald: I'm going to use the thug for cover and ready my laser to fire at anyone who makes a false move, including him.
Dick: John-R? You're feeling restless, again.
John passes a note to Dick: I'm going to check out the crates of WMDs. Is there any kind of lock on them?
Dick passes a note to John: As a matter of fact, yes. There's this little electronic reader on the door of each one.
John passes a note to Dick: Is it circular?
Dick passes a note to John: No.
John passes a note to Dick: I'm going to wave the plasticred near the electronic reader on the crate with the radiation symbols.
Dick passes a note to John: You hear a click as the bolts in the door slide open.
John laughs maniacally.
Dick: And with that, we move on to the NPCs. The remaining Power Services technicians beat a hasty retreat into the engine car. The Tech Services technicians scatter for cover inside the sleeper. The thug readies another grenade and opens the door again to toss it into the sleeper. He's rather surprised to find Condi-R standing there waiting for him, but not so surprised that he doesn't toss the grenade anyway.
Dick rolls in secret - 19.
Dick: The grenade rolls into the sleeper car, but Condi-R's presence was apparently enough of a shock that he forgot to pull the pin. Condi-R?
Condi: Spending 3 Pervs to raise Energy to 15 and firing at the thug point blank.
Condi rolls - 17.
Dick: He manages to close the door enough to block your laser, which scars the metal black. Donald-R?
Donald: I'm going to take a few steps back and take aim at the door with my laser. I'll hold off on picking a fight with everyone in the sleeper car, though.
Dick: John-R?
John passes a note to Dick: Opening the crate. What is inside?
Dick passes a note to John: 4,368 tactical nuclear warheads.
John (ooc): Holy shit!
Condi (ooc): What are you doing, John?
Samuel (ooc): I have a pretty good guess, I think...
George (ooc): Same thing that had you shouting loud enough for us to hear you outside the isolation chamber?
Samuel (ooc): Yep.
George (ooc): John, if you reduce this sector to atoms, I'm never speaking to you again.
John passes a note to Dick: I'm going to close the door, make sure it locks, and hide the plasticred before taking a little jog toward the front of the transbot.
Dick: Condi-R?
Condi: Yanking the door open and firing at the thug again.
Dick: Roll for it.
Condi: 5 Pervs for 17.
Condi rolls - 3.
Dick: Your laser burns through his brain and opens a little hole in the back of his skull. Donald-R?
Donald: Well, so much for that. I hide the laser behind my back and whistle innocently.
Dick: Have a point of Perversity. John-R, you have reached the humanitarian cargo car. The clones of the fallen Troubleshooters arrive at the back of the caboose. You'll get to act next turn. The Power Services technicians open fire on the Technical Services technicians, who waste no time returning fire.
Condi (ooc): I knew I should have kept singing.
Dick rolls in secret - 11 and 13.
Dick: Neither side suffers any casualties, this turn. Condi-R?
Condi: I level my laser at Donald-R's head. (Singing tunelessly) "Would you care to explain yourself, citizen?"
Dick: Have a point of Perversity. Donald-R?
Donald (shouting): "Yes, ma'am! That thug was clearly a Commie mutant traitor with mind control powers that forced me to do his will! Thank you for freeing me of his filthy influence, Condi-R!"
Dick: Have a point of Perversity. I'll let this continue for a little longer before cutting to the rest of the team.
Condi (singing tunelessly): "So, he threw that grenade?"
Donald (shouting): "Yes, ma'am! He made me watch his horrible crime!"
Condi (singing tunelessly): "Are you SURE you didn't have anything to do with what happened in the Power Services car?"
Donald (shouting): "Yes, ma'am! I didn't hurt anyone, just now!"
Condi: My laser hand shakes. I clearly want to fire at Donald-R, but I just can't bring myself to do it. (Singing) "Very well, Donald-R. I believe you."
Dick: Perversity, Condi-R. John-R, you've reached the Technical Services sleeper car.
John passes Dick a note: I'm going to keep running. Let me know when I get to the lounge.
Dick passes John a note: Okay.
Dick rolls in secret - 15 and 17.
Dick: The battle between the technicians rages on, but it appears that ammunition is running out. The four of you who died arrive at the back of the caboose. Alberto-R?
Alberto: To avoid entering an area above my security clearance, I'll climb onto the caboose, shooting a look at the other members of the team that lets them know bad things will happen to anyone who doesn't follow my example.
Dick: What's your Agility? Please roll it.
Alberto rolls - 8.
Dick: You manage to climb onto the caboose without incident. Condi-R?
Condi: I'm going to turn my attention back to the feuding technicians and try to convince them to stop shooting each other by singing.
Dick: 16?
Condi: Yep.
Dick: Roll it.
Condi rolls - 11.
Dick: A few of the technicians start singing along with you, but most of them are simply reloading. Donald-R?
Donald: I'm going to take this opportunity to retreat as far away from Condi-R as possible.
Dick: George-R?
George: Damn you, Alberto. I'll follow him. Spending 5 Bills to make Agility 11.
Dick: Go ahead and roll it.
George rolls - 1.
Dick: You have no trouble following Alberto-R. John-R, you're there.
John passes Dick a note: I'm going to find some congealed Cold Fun or Hot Fun somewhere and make a little wad of sticky goo. I'll then stick the token under the food prep counter as much out of sight as possible.
Dick passes John a note: What's your Concealment?
John passes Dick a note: If you let me spend 5 Pervs, 9.
Dick: I'll allow it.
Dick rolls in secret - 12.
Dick passes John a note: You find an appropriate hiding place for the red plasticred and stick it in its hiding place.
Dick: Samuel-R?
Samuel: I kind of have a Violence of 4, so... "I'll guard the rear in case more Commie mutant traitors try to overtake us."
Dick: Tom-R?
Tom: I nod and climb onto the caboose. Violence is 8. Not spending Pervs on this.
Dick: Suit yourself.
Dick rolls in secret - 5.
Dick: You manage to follow the other two without incident. The technician war continues more or less unabated.
Dick rolls in secret - 8 and 2.
Dick: The last Power Services technicians go down, but Tim-O is the only Technical Services technician left.
Condi (ooc): These have got to be the stupidest technicians ever.
Dick: Alberto-R, George-R, and Tom-R, you've reached the far side of the caboose. Condi-R?
Condi: I'm leaving the circus before Tim-O does something stupid, again.
Dick: Donald-R, you arrive in the lounge car. John-R is already there, standing behind the food prep counter.
Donald: "What are you doing, citizen?"
John: I do some jumping jacks. "George-R stabbed me with something, and I'm really hyper, now."
Donald: "Well, I certainly know how that is. No cure for extra energy like plenty of exercise."
Dick: Samuel-R?
Samuel passes Dick a note: Whoever is waiting for us at the reactor, they're going to want what's in the caboose, so I'm going to duck inside and hide behind the crates.
Dick nods.
Dick: The transbot begins to slow down and a voice booms out. "Transbot 7510-J, why are you not slowing down? You will stop approximately 100 meters after of your destination, by our estimates?"
George: Whose voice is it, The Computer's?
Dick: No. It sounds like it's coming from speakers outside of the transbot.
John: "We should probably answer their questions, Donald-R." I idly reload my laser and head toward the engine.
Donald: "You're right." I follow him.
Condi: I imagine they meet me going the other way.
Dick: Of course. What's a train wreck without multiple collisions?
John: I don't hesitate. "If I have to stop this transbot to prevent a disaster one more time before the end of the mission..."
Donald: I hang back. "How are things at the Power Services sleeper, Condi-R?
Condi (to the tune of NIN's "Heresy"): "Everyone's dead, and Tim-O's nuts!"
George (ooc): That's an interesting musical selection, Condi.
Dick: What are the three between the caboose and the humanitarian relief car doing?
Alberto: Given that we're going to crash, and there's no time to stop it, this time, I'm going brace for impact.
George: Ditto.
Tom: Same here.
Dick: Samuel-R?
Samuel: Doing the best I can do to do the same.
Dick: John-R, when you open the door to the Power Services car, Tim-O takes a pot shot at you.
John: Crap. Spending 5 Pervs to keep him from hitting.
Dick rolls in secret - 17.
Dick: His shot goes wide. What are you doing.
George (ooc): You've still got, um, hyperactivity. Blast him.
John: Not this time. I'm going to close the door and release the coupling between the first two cars and the back four. "That should give us our 100 meters."
Dick: What's your Hardware?
John: Vehicle Ops is 14. I'll spend 5 more Pervs to raise it to 19.
Dick: Roll it.
John rolls - 9.
Dick: That'll do it. The coupling releases you, letting the engine and Power Services sleeper continue while leaving gravity and friction to slow your part of the transbot. Though none of you can hear it, Tim-O screams futilely as the two lead cars continue through the end of the line and into a very deep pit, where it then explodes. The rest of the transbot rolls to a stop just shy of the end of the line, right in front of a nuclear reactor. A BLUE with a shaggy beard stands on the transbot platform, surrounded by a dozen GREEN goons armed with slugthrowers. The BLUE has a walkie-talkie. He speaks into it, and his voice booms from all around you. "Troubleshooters and technicians, you will drop your weapons and disembark at this time. Any other course of action will force us to resort to violence."
George (ooc): Uh oh.

GM - Vice President Cheney
Alberto-R-GZS-1 (Alberto) - Attorney General Alberto Gonzales
Condi-R-ICE-1 (Condi) - Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice
Donald-R-UMI-1 (Donald) - Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld
George-R-BSH-1 (George) - President George W. Bush
John-R-SNO-1 (John) - Secretary of Treasury John Snow
Samuel-R-BMN-1 (Samuel) - Secretary of Energy Samuel Bodman
Tom-R-IDG-1 (Tom) - Former Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge

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