The Transbot Job

September 22, 2005

Dick: Okay, just to recap. Condi-R is in the Power Services sleeper. Donald-R and Tom-R are in the engine car. George-R and John-R are in the caboose. Alberto-R and Samuel-R, where do you want to be?
Samuel (ooc): I'm guessing "safely in bed at the barracks back in FRA Sector" is out of the question?
Dick: Yes.
Samuel: In that case, I think I'll take up a sniper position in the humanitarian relief car. We need to keep the bogies away from the goods in the caboose.
Alberto: Good idea. I'll climb up between the caboose and the cargo car. I want to stay low enough not to make myself a good target, but I want to be in a good spot to pick off the incomings.
Dick: Okay. The first and last autocars have five thugs each. The middle two autocars have four thugs each. Everyone give me a Vehicular Combat roll.
Alberto: Missed by 8.
Condi: Made it by a margin of 6.
Donald: Missed by a margin of 10.
George: Missed by 2.
John: Missed by 9.
Samuel: Made it by 3.
Tom: Made it by 7. Cheers.
Dick passes Tom a note: The thugs are trying to broadside you. The thugs will have an advantage if they can board the transbot at several points at once. The autocars are moving faster than the transbot. Geometrically, the lead autocar will reach the caboose just as the road parallels the transbot tracks closely enough to board. There is a bridge a couple miles ahead, so assuming it maintains its current speed, the transbot will move out of the reach of the autocars in two minutes. Cross two sentences off this note and pass it to the player with the next highest margin of success.
Tom passes the note to Condi: The thugs are trying to broadside you. The thugs will have an advantage if they can board the transbot at several points at once. The autocars are moving faster than the transbot. Geometrically, the lead autocar will reach the caboose just as the road parallels the transbot tracks closely enough to board.
Condi does nothing.
Dick: Aren't you going to pass it to Samuel, Condi?
Condi: What?
Dick: I wrote instructions to...let me see that note.
Condi hands the note to Dick.
Dick: Tom, you smart ass. I can't believe you did that.
Tom: Just enforcing fear and ignorance, sir.
Samuel: Where's my note?
Dick: Tom broke the chain letter, I'm afraid, so you don't get anything on that one.
Dick passes a note to George: The autocars are hacks that have been reprogrammed to chase transbots. Write another sentence of misinformation on this note and pass it to the player with the next highest margin of failure.
George passes the note to Alberto, adding: Those hubcaps are the same as the ones Internal Security uses to hide the axle-mounted rocket launchers in their secret agents' vehicles.
Alberto passes a note to John, adding: Those autocars are Pint-Os, which means that a single glancing hit from a slugthrower will make them explode into flames.
John passes the note to Donald, adding: The autocars are armored and have force field generators that protect occupants from most physical attacks.
Donald (ooc): There are some twisted people in this group.
Dick: Add your own and pass it to me.
Donald passes the note to Dick, adding: These autocars are equipped with anti-gravity drives that allow them to fly.
Dick passes the note to Samuel.
Dick: There. Several pieces of information about the situation that you know to be false.
Samuel: Thanks, I think...
Dick: And everyone can have a point of Perversity for their participation in that little exercise. So, what is everyone doing now?
Alberto: I'll wait until one of the autocars comes within range and aim for the tires.
Condi: I'll direct the technicians to lie low, but we're going to keep singing.
Donald: I'll wait until the autocars come into range and aim for the engine.
George: I take aim, ready to fire at one of the passengers as soon as an autocar comes in range. None of this "disabling inanimate objects" trick shooting for *this* little RED clone!
John: Taking cover slightly behind George-R and getting ready to open fire.
Samuel: Pretty much what they said.
Tom: Ditto.
Dick: The first of the autocars comes into range of the lounge car, but the others follow closely behind it - one even with the Tech Services sleeper, one with the humanitarian relief car, and one with the caboose. Alberto-R, you can fire on #2, #3, or #4. George-R and John-R, you can fire on #3 or #4. Samuel-R, you can fire on #1, #2, or #3. The rest of you are out of range of any of the autocars. Alberto-R?
Alberto: Taking the shot at the tires of #2. Energy is 12.
Dick: Go ahead and roll.
Alberto rolls - 14.
Dick: The laser reflects off the chrome of one of those hubcaps, inflicting no damage. Condi-R?
Condi: I'll hose the technicians with Gelgernine one last time.
Dick: Donald-R?
Donald: "We need to protect the engine, but we shouldn't make boarding the transbot easy for them." I head back to the cars where the autocars are running parallel.
Dick: You can get to the Power Services sleeper this turn. You'll be able to take a shot next turn. George-R?
George: Picking off the lead thug in #4 with my laser. Energy 17.
Dick: Roll.
George rolls - 14.
Dick: The crimson beam cuts off the thug's steering wheel arm and scorches his leather-like coat. The autocar swerves to the right, away from the transbot, throwing off the aim of everyone inside until someone can take the wheel. John-R?
John: I'll squeeze off a round at another of the thugs in #4. Energy 8.
John rolls - 6.
Dick: Despite the wildly swerving target, you manage to cut through the coat of one of the passengers in the back of the autocar, who yelps in pain and terror. Samuel-R?
Samuel: Zapping one of the thugs in #3. Energy is 8. Perversity?
Dick: Unless I say otherwise, you can spend up to 5 Perversity to improve your attacks or to protect yourself from an enemy's attack.
Samuel: Spending 4 to raise it to 12.
Samuel rolls - 19.
Dick: Autocar #3 hits a rough patch of road and skids, making it more difficult for them to dodge attacks. Unfortunately, you misjudge the trajectory and zap a passing scrubbot by mistake.
Samuel (ooc): Win-win situation, as far as I can tell.
Dick: Tom-R?
Tom: Donald-R seems to have a pretty good idea. I'm going to climb up onto the Power Services sleeper and document the firefight from a point of greater perspective.
Dick: Roll Agility.
Tom rolls - 7.
Tom: Success by 1.
Dick: Climbing onto the moving transbot proves difficult but well within your training. Autocar #1 speeds up, quickly moving toward the front of lounge car. One of the thugs in the back of it stands up as it creeps closer to the gap between the lounge car and the Power Services sleeper. Also, one of the thugs stands up as #2 moves closer to the transbot tracks and speeds up until it is even with the gap between the lounge car and the Tech Services sleeper car. The thugs in #3 struggle to regain control of the autocar, but two return fire at Samuel-R - one with a laser and one with a slugthrower.
Dick rolls in secret and ignores the result.
Dick: The laser clips your shoulder, though the reflec seems to absorb it. The slug flies past your ear but doesn't quite hit its mark. The thugs in autocar #4 are far too preoccupied with not crashing to return fire, this turn. Alberto-R?
Alberto: I imagine #2 is out of range, now, so I'll aim for the tire on #3. Spending 3 Pervs to raise Energy to 15.
Alberto rolls - 8.
Dick: The thugs regain control of their vehicle just in time to drive into your sights. The beam of your laser slices across both tires on the left side of the autocar and scorch the paint job all the way along the vehicle. The tires bulge for a moment and then burst violently. The car turns sideways and then flips over, dumping out all the thugs inside - none of whom thought to put on his safety belt, apparently. Condi-R?
Condi: I stick my head out the window to see what that noise was all about.
Dick: Have a point of Perversity. That tic is really making it difficult for you to do much. Donald-R?
Donald: I'll shoot at the thug who's standing up in #2. Energy is 10.
Donald rolls - 3.
Dick: Standing up like that, the thug makes a great target. Your laser hits him in the stomach, and the sudden pain throws him off balance. He falls out of the autocar, rolling along the asphalt at high speeds for several meters before friction and gravity defeat inertia. George-R?
George: Taking another shot at one of the thugs in #4.
George rolls - 6.
Dick: One of the thugs in the back leaned a little too far to the left, and your laser decapitates him. John-R?
John: Following George-R's lead and taking aim at one of the other thugs. Spending 4 Pervs to raise Energy to 12.
John rolls - 19.
Dick: They easily veer out of the way of your attack. It looks like they've gotten control of the autocar, now. Samuel-R?
Samuel: I yelp and cower in the cargo car.
Dick: Have a point of Perversity. Tom-R?
Tom: I'll continue filming the battle surreptitiously, documenting the annihilation of Alpha Complex's enemies at the hands of her brave Troubleshooters. Let me know if one of the autocars gets close to the engine car.
Dick: I guess that almost counts as gloating... Have a point of Perversity. The standing thug from autocar #1 jumps the gap and lands between the Power Services sleeper car and the lounge car. Autocar #1 then speeds up again, heading for the front of the Power Services sleeper car. Another thug in autocar #2 stands up. The other thug takes a shot at Donald-R with his slugthrower.
Dick rolls in secret - 9.
Dick: Fortunately, your kevlar stops the slug cold. The two thugs in #4 who haven't been touched yet return fire with their slugthrowers.
George: Spending 5 Perversity against each of them.
Dick rolls in secret - 12 and 5.
Dick: Autocar #4 hits the same bad patch of road that gave #3 so much trouble, throwing off the aim of everyone inside. One slug buries itself in George-R's leg (wounded). The other buries itself in the biological weapons crate.
George and John wince.

GM - Vice President Cheney
Alberto-R-GZS-1 (Alberto) - Attorney General Alberto Gonzales
Condi-R-ICE-1 (Condi) - Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice
Donald-R-UMI-1 (Donald) - Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld
George-R-BSH-1 (George) - President George W. Bush
John-R-SNO-1 (John) - Secretary of Treasury John Snow
Samuel-R-BMN-1 (Samuel) - Secretary of Energy Samuel Bodman
Tom-R-IDG-1 (Tom) - Former Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge