Wait, I Thought We Were in Charge, Here...

April 9, 2005

Dick: A YELLOW, two ORANGE and fourteen RED technicians wait for you as you pull into the transbot station. You can see a distinct line between Tech Services and Power Services. The tension between them is palpable, much like between the boys and girls at a junior high school dance - not that any of your characters would draw that parallel, of course. When the transbot's doors open, the YELLOW steps inside. Her name tag indicates that her name is Lisa-Y-RAK-1 of Power Services. "Who's in charge, here?"
Donald (shouting): "George-R!"
George: I step forward. "I am team leader."
Lisa-Y: "Nope. You're wrong. I'm the highest-ranking passenger, so I'm in charge. You're human shields. What are your names? Please include your clone number."
Alberto: "Alberto-R-GZS-1."
Condi (singing): "Condi-R-ICE-1."
Donald (shouting): "Donald-R-UMI-1!"
George: "George-R-BSH-1."
John: "John-R-SNO-1."
Samuel: "Samuel-R-BMN-1."
Tom: "Tom-R-IDG-1."
Lisa-Y: "Ah, excellent. They were apparently paying attention to me in all those subcommittee meetings, after all.
Dick: An ORANGE pokes his head in behind her. His tag identifies him as Tim-O-DSD-5 of Tech Services. "Are they all Prime, Lisa-Y?"
Lisa-Y (obviously annoyed): "Yes, Tim-O. Just get your grease monkeys ready and stop pestering me with your incessant questions."
Dick: Tim-O ducks out of the transbot and walks over to his REDs, whistling cheerfully. Lisa-Y hands George-R a list of names.
Lisa-Y: "These are the personnel you're here to protect, in order of importance."
George: I take the list and read it aloud to make sure everyone knows who is most critical to the success of the mission.
Dick hands George a list.
George: "Lisa-Y-RAK-1 of Power Services, Gordan-O-ROR-3 of Power Services, Tim-O-DSD-5 of Tech Services, Larry-R-RID-6 of Power Services, Richard-R-RNC-4 of the same, Mel-R-RFL-6 ditto, Conrad-R-RMT-3, Jim-R-RKY-2, Jim-R-RMO-4, Pete-R-RNM-1. On the Tech Services side, Byron-R-DND-3, Ron-R-DOR-5, Dianne-R-DCA-4, Maria-R-DWA-2, Jon-R-DNJ-3, Ken-R-DCO-1, Jeff-R-DNM-1."
Condi (ooc): This is going to be a disaster.
Samuel (ooc): Agreed.
John (ooc): I think I'm missing something.
Condi (ooc): All the Power Services technicians are from sectors beginning with R, and all the Tech Services folks are from sectors beginning with D.
Samuel (ooc): Knowing Dick, we're probably here to protect a Senate committee long enough for them to really hose things up.
Dick (ooc): A subcommittee, actually.
Samuel (ooc): Lisa. That would be Water and Power. How fitting.
Dick: By the way, most of you recognize Jim-R-RMO-4 as the Jim-R whose clone you so recently terminated.
Samuel: "Lisa-Y, I'm sure you'll understand if I call for a quick RSI of the technicians' equipment, given the importance of this mission."
Lisa-Y: "You're the team equipment guy, right?"
Samuel: "Yes."
Lisa-Y: "That is an excellent idea, Samuel-R. Start with the Tech Services personnel and continue until we have to leave."
Samuel: "I'll get started, then." I go to the Tech Services personnel and begin collecting their equipment.
Dick: Tim-O starts to object, but Lisa-Y orders him to comply. The Tech Services personnel hand over their weapons and reflec.
Dick passes a note to Samuel: Tim-O suggests that you might be more comfortable performing your inspections in a nearby workshop. He makes the suggestion in a very low voice.
Samuel passes a note back to Dick: "A marvelous idea, Tim-O." I go to the workshop and ask to be left alone for a while.
Dick passes a note to Samuel: Tim-O seems perfectly content to let you, but he puts his kevlar vest conspicuously on the top of the pile.
Samuel passes a note to Dick: I begin the weapons check with the kevlar.
Dick passes a note to Samuel: There is a note in the vest, as well as 100 plasticreds. The note reads "All this equipment passes inspection."
Samuel passes a note to Dick: I pocket the credits. I remove all but one of the barrels from the RED lasers. I fire all but one of the RED's lasers once (hitting the note, in the process). Then, in accordance with my tic, I overload all the laser bodies so that the barrels last longer, but the beams are largely incapable of lethal damage (skill is 13). Then, I sabotage the laser I didn't test so it only works once before ceasing to function (sabotage device is 14). I don't bother with anything else before coming out of the workshop just before it's time to leave, clearly in a hurry.
Dick passes a note to Samuel: Have a Perversity point.
Dick: Samuel-R takes the equipment to a nearby workshop shown to him by Tim-O. Lisa-Y ushers the Power Services part of the team onto the transbot.
George: Once Samuel-R and Lisa-Y are out of earshot, I take Tim-O aside."We have a jackobot with a defective Asimov circuit. Do you have a replacement here at the transbot station?"
Tim-O: "There's a jackobot prototype that maintains this station. I'll have my boys reassign it to this mission and transfer your troubled bot to maintenance duty here."
George: "Here, I'll show you which one."
Dick: You switch the switched off jackobot for the prototype jackobot. Just about the time everyone else is settled on the transbot, Samuel-R comes out with the Tech Services technicians' equipment.
Tom: Documenting this very carefully.
Samuel: I come running toward the technicians with an armload of equipment in hand just as the departure time is looming large. "I tested most of the equipment, but I didn't have time to test all the lasers. I'll show you which one still needs tested if you..." As I pass into the group of technicians, I trip and fall, the equipment in my arms scattering all over the ground. I get up with as much dignity as I can muster, obviously angry. "Who tripped me?"
Dick: No one responds.
Samuel: "I don't know whose is whose, now, but I definitely tested the laser with the missing barrel. I'll leave it to you to determine which laser belongs to you."
Dick: Tim-O immediately grabs the laser with the ORANGE barrel. The other Tech Services technicians immediately scramble for the laser without a barrel. The Power Services technicians watch in clear amusement.
Tom: Documenting their amusement. From the shadows.
Dick: The transbot doors close, and the transbot begins to move. Eventually, Dianna-R wins the struggle for the laser with no barrel. She quickly replaces the barrel with an extra from her pocket and clutches it protectively as she retreats to the Troubleshooter sleeper car.
John passes a note to Dick: During the confusion, I'm going to go find that new jackobot and have a heart-to-heart with it.
Dick passes a note to John: The bots are in the engine car.
John passes a note to Dick: Going to use Bot Programming (12) to convince them that none of the other organics on the transbot appreciates them. I especially focus on how much Samuel-R obviously hates bots, since he obviously wants them to be ugly.
Dick secretly rolls for the docbot with the missing Asimov: 12
Dick secretly rolls for the other docbots: 5, 5, 18, 18, and 14.
Dick secretly rolls for the assigned jackobots: 9, 9, and 12.
Dick secretly rolls for the prototype jackobot: 16.
Dick passes a note to John: You seem to have had an impact on most of them. One of the docbots seems especially keen on rebelling against its meaty masters.
John passes a note to Dick: My work here is done. I'm going to join the rest of the group.
Dick: Now that the safe laser has been claimed, the technicians are carefully examining each of their other options. Ron-R picks one up and aims it out a window. He winces as he pulls the trigger, but all that happens is that a crimson beam slices into the walls of a tunnel through which the transbot is passing.
Ron-R: "I guess this one is safe, then."
Dick: The others do the same thing, and the result is the same.
Ron-R: "I guess the equipment all checks out."
Dick: All the technicians look obviously relieved. They quickly pick up their equipment and head for the Troubleshooter sleeper car.
George: "Um, you bunks are in the other sleeper car."
Lisa-Y: "No they aren't. We're not sharing sleeping quarters with those Tech Services technicians."
Condi (singing a happy tune): "But where are we supposed to sleep?"
Alberto: "I guess we could share quarters with the Power Services technicians."
Lisa-Y: "Oh no. There isn't enough room for Troubleshooters and technicians in that sleeper car."
Alberto: Wait. How many bunks are in each car? I don't think we got a count.
Dick: Each car has eighteen bunks - three stacks of three on each side of the car.
George: "But there's plenty of..."
Lisa-Y: "The answer is no. You can stay in the Tech Services sleeper. There should be plenty of space in there, too.
George: I go find Tim-O.
Samuel: I follow the Power Services technicians and insist on finishing the equipment inspection I started earlier.
Tom: I document Samuel-Rs inspection.
Donald-R: I follow George-R, taking notes.
Alberto-R: I follow Samuel-R, taking notes.
Condi-R: I whistle a happy tune and start preparing Hot Fun for everyone.
John-R: I greet Lisa-Y as she enters the Power Services sleeper car and then hustle on my merry way into the common room to help Condi-R.
George (ooc): The buddy system is the only way to make sure someone isn't stabbing you in the back.
Condi (ooc): Well, at least you know your buddy isn't stabbing you in the back. Can't say that about the teammates who aren't currently your buddies.
George (ooc): True.
John whistles innocently.
George: Crap. How did John-R get into the Power Services car before Samuel-R and company?
Dick: Hard to say. No one was watching him during the laser brawl, earlier...
Samuel: "Lisa-Y, I would like to continue my RSI, now. Have everyone hand over their equipment, please."
Lisa-Y: "Absolutely not! I could have you fined for insubordination."
Samuel: "I am only doing my job, citizen. If you wish to use your superior security clearance to prevent me from inspecting your team's equipment for evidence of sabotage, you will be responsible in the event that sabotage among your personnel results in the failure of this mission."
Tom: I document her refusal.
Alberto: I take notes from behind Tom-R. If she looks in our direction, I smile coyly at her and wave.
Dick: All three of you, have a point of Perversity. Samuel, what's your Intimidation?
Samuel: 4.
Dick: You three can secretly spend Perversity to adjust the result. Samuel, I'll let you roll.
Tom passes Dick a note: 3 points to reduce his chances.
Samuel passes Dick a note: 2 points to increase my chances.
Alberto: 3 points to reduce his chances.
Dick: Roll at an effective skill rating of 1, Samuel.
Samuel: What? Why?
Tom shrugs.
Alberto smiles coyly and waves.
Samuel: You bastards.
Samuel rolls an 8.
Lisa-Y: "Get that camera out of my face and get out of my sleeper car!"
Dick: Her teammates draw their lasers.
Tom: I pretend to turn to go, but make sure to get a solid panorama shot of the Power Services REDs threatening the Equipment Guy in order to prevent him from carrying out his assigned task. Once this indelible image is secured within the multicorder's record, I leave.
Samuel: I sigh and leave the car.
Alberto: Same here.
Dick: George and Donald, one of the Tech Services technicians stands guard in the space between the sleeper car and the common area.
George: "Lisa-Y told us that my team is to bunk in this car."
Dick: Byron-R looks at you nervously but stands his ground, "I'm afraid that's not possible. Tim-O said no one but us is to enter this car until we reach our destination."
George: "But if we can't sleep with Power Services and we can't sleep with Tech Services, where are we supposed to sleep?"
Dick: Byron-R shrugs. "I guess you can sleep in the common area."
George: "You get all that, Donald-R?"
Donald (shouting): "Yes, team leader, sir! I will be making a full report of these events once the mission is over."
George: "There are no hygiene facilities in the common area, citizen. How are we to maintain MCL?"
Dick: Byron-R hesitates. "I don't know. I hadn't thought about that."
George: "Clearly. You're obviously busy guarding this sleeper car, but when your watch ends, I suggest you mention this little complication to your supervisor. If the Troubleshooter team is unable to carry out its assigned duty of protecting the transbot, its cargo, and its passengers because of below-minimum hygiene levels, it could go hard on him You got all that, Donald-R?"
Donald-R (shouting): "Yes, team leader, sir!"
George: "Good. Let's go get some of the Hot Fun Condi-R and John-R are cooking for us."

GM - Vice President Cheney
Alberto-R-GZS-1 (Alberto) - Attorney General Alberto Gonzales
Condi-R-ICE-1 (Condi) - Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice
Donald-R-UMI-1 (Donald) - Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld
George-R-BSH-1 (George) - President George W. Bush
John-R-SNO-1 (John) - Secretary of Treasury John Snow
Samuel-R-BMN-1 (Samuel) - Secretary of Energy Samuel Bodman
Tom-R-IDG-1 (Tom) - Former Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge