Got a Light, Brother?

March 31, 2005

Dick: You all shuffle forward in the extremely long line at the PLC warehouse. The bureaucrats inside must be in a good mood, though, as the line is actually moving very quickly. That or you're in the line that leads to the Kwik n' EZ Termination Booth.
John: Any chance we'll be in and out in an hour?
Dick: No chance in hell. You'll be lucky to get inside, by then.
John: I squirm noticeably.
Donald: "What's your boggle, citizen?"
John: I remove my PDC and show him. "You might want to check yours, too. This tardiness-discouraging device certainly makes me eager to be on time for my appointments."
Donald: I do.
Dick passes a note to Donald: You have a matching appointment.
Donald: "Um, George-R?"
George: "Yes, Donald-R?"
Donald: "I think it might be in the best interests of the mission if we all check our PDCs."
George: I check mine. "Why?"
Dick passes George a note: Your schedule indicates that you should be finished with outfitting in less than an hour.
George: "Your observation is noted, Donald-R." What's the security clearance of the other people in line?
Dick: You can't see anyone other than INFRAREDs.
George: That's alright, then. "We are on important business for the Computer. I think it is perfectly acceptable for us to cut in front of INFRARED citizens. Condi-R, run ahead and use your diplomatic skills to get us a place near the front of the line. John-R, go with her and come back to get us once she's gotten in line at the front."
Condi (to a cheery tune): "I'd be glad to." I stroll toward the head of the line, watching to make sure we don't accidentally cut in front of anyone of higher clearance.
John: I follow her like an obedient dog, scratching at the electrical burns on my back absently.
Tom: I follow them to document the action, staying to the shadows.
Dick: You are about fifteen people away from the front of the line before you encounter a YELLOW.
Condi: I spray a couple bursts of Gelgenine about four INFRAREDs behind the YELLOW. I then lead the affected IRs in a sing-along "to make the wait go faster."
Dick: What's your Oratory specialization?
Condi: 14.
Dick: Would you like to venture some Perversity?
Condi: The dice are my friends.
Dick: Then I'll let you roll it.
Condi rolls a 6.
Condi: By a margin of 8, friend Gamemaster.
Dick: Between the drugs, the boredom, and your natural charm, you have no trouble convincing eight INFRAREDs to join your song.
John: I quietly take my cue and call George-R.
George: "Yes, John-R?"
John: "Sing-along is in progress and ready for the rest of the team to join it, sir."
George: "Excellent. We'll be there shortly."
Tom: I keep the camera on Condi-R and the happy IRs.
Condi (to the tune of "The Wheels on the Bus"): "The wheels on the transbot go round and round. Round and round. Round and round. The wheels on the transbot go round and round all through the sector."
John: I play along with her. When the others get close, I cry out, "Look! More friends have come over to sing with us!"
Donald: I join the sing-along and then work to turn it into an exercise routine.
George: I take advantage of their drug-addled state to buy boots from one at a discount and sell them to another for better than their value. Con games and Chutzpah are both 13.
Dick: Perversity?
George: I'll save my Bills for bigger issues.
Dick: Roll it.
George rolls 11.
Dick: You earn 2 credits from the transactions.
George: "Anyone want a cancer-free cigarette? I'm selling them cheap."
Dick: Unfortunately, at that moment, you reach the head of the line. A perky RED eyes you, and in a cheery voice asks "How'can'I'elp'you?"
George: "We're the escort team for Operation IRQ Freedom, reporting for outfitting."
Dick: "You're'early." She locates a small stack of forms in an immense file drawer in five seconds flat and hands it to George-R. "Through'th'doors'o'er'there."
Samuel: "We appreciate your efficiency, citizen."
Dick: "You're'very'elcome,cit-zen. Havanice day!"
George: We head over to the indicated doors.
Dick: The doors lead to a small, unlit waiting area. The only light in the room comes from the entrance and from other end of a corridor out of the waiting area where an ORANGE sits at a desk. You can just make out several stand-up desks with jars of pencils. A RED is trying to fill out forms by the light of a hottorch.
Tom: Hiding in the ample shadows and documenting everything that happens.
Samuel (in a voice at the edge of tears): "I think this is the most energy efficient room I've ever seen!"
George: I set the forms down on a desk. "Donald-R, make sure nothing happens to these until I get back." I take a cancer-lite cigarette out of my pocket and, as I'm walking toward the RED with the hottorch, I make a display of checking my pockets for a fire source. "Hey, citizen, do you have a light?"
Dick: He looks up at you from his thick form.
George: "C'mon, buddy. It's just for a minute."
Dick: He shakes his head and returns to his form.
George: I read the form over his shoulder. What kind of form is it?
Dick: A request for a replacement laser pistol body. The reason he has listed is "equipment lost or destroyed in the line of duty."
George: "Lose your laser, citizen?"
Dick: He mumbles something incoherent.
Alberto: I pick up on this and wander over to stand at his other shoulder. Does he appear armed?
Dick: Not as far as you can tell, no.
Alberto: "How did it happen, if I might ask?"
Dick: He mumbles something incoherent.
Alberto: "What's that, citizen? I couldn't understand you."
Dick: "Go away."
George: "Let us borrow your hottorch for a minute, and we'll leave you alone. We have an important mission, and my hygiene officer will probably wet himself if we don't get through outfitting in the next thirty minutes."
Dick: "Get your own. This one is mine."
Alberto passes Dick a note: Gently pressing my laser into the small of his back without letting any light fall on it.
Alberto: "Come, now. Be a good sport. I'm sure he'll give it right back."
Dick: The RED freezes and very slowly hands the hottorch to George-R.
George: "Thank you, citizen." I light my cigarette and wander back over to Donald-R and the forms.
Dick: The forms are no picnic. You are basically agreeing to be responsible for the safe delivery contents of the humanitarian aid car and the nuclear materials car on the transbot. There is a complete inventory list. It's twelve pages long. Each item has a box where you are supposed to mark that you have confirmed that each item was loaded onto the transbot.
George: I'll fill out what I can, but I'm not marking anything that I haven't yet confirmed with my own eyes. Going to go talk to the ORANGE.
Dick: To the isolation chamber, George.
Alberto (in a pleasant tone of voice): "So, what's your name, citizen?"
Dick: "Jim-R."
Alberto: I don't move "Nice to meet you, Jim-R. This your home sector, or are you a transfer?"
Dick: He shakes his head.
Alberto: "Is that a no, this isn't your home sector or a no, you aren't a transfer?"
Dick: "Not my home sector."
Alberto: "So, you a Troubleshooter?"
Dick: "Y-yes."
Alberto: "Just finished with debriefing?"
Dick: He nods.
Alberto: "So, where's the rest of your team?"
Dick: "D-dead. All dead."
Alberto: "How is it that you survived, citizen?" As soon as he opens his mouth, I cut him off. "Did you betray them to the Commie mutant traitors?"
Dick: "What?"
Alberto: "Don't play dumb with me, citizen. You know very well what a Commie mutant traitor is, don't you?"
Dick: "Of course."
Alberto: "So you admit that you know who sabotaged your mission, and yet you have not reported your filthy allies to the Computer!"
Dick: "No!"
Alberto: "Of course you didn't. You thought that by being the only one to survive the mission, no one would discover your treason."
Dick: "No."
Alberto: "But you didn't count on me, did you? Admit it. The Commie mutant traitors let you live because you are one of them."
Dick: He sighs. "You're not going to give my hottorch back, are you?"
Alberto: "Why do you want your hottorch back so much, citizen? Is it because you are a mutant with control over fire and by borrowing it, we have deprived you of your treasonous method of defense?"
Dick: "I'm not a mutant."
Alberto: "But you don't deny being a Commie or a traitor!"
Dick: "You can't prove anything."
Alberto: I press the laser barrel harder against his back. "I think I'm up to the challenge, citizen. Try me."
Alberto passes a note to Dick: Using my hottorch out of sight of Tom-R's camera to set the desk on fire. Sleight of Hand is 6. I use 4 Bills if you'll let me.
Dick: Yes. Mark it down.
Dick rolls a die and ignores the result.
Dick: The desk suddenly catches fire and begins to burn brilliantly.
Condi: Laser comes out of the holster. Pointing it at the Jim-R.
Donald: Laser pointed at Jim-R.
Samuel: Laser handy and pointed at Jim-R.
John: Ditto.
Alberto: I pull Jim-R roughly away from the burning desk. "Nice try, mutie."
Alberto passes a note to Dick: Replacing the hottorch and removing a Benetridin tablet, which I stuff into Jim-R's back pocket as I'm manhandling him. 5 Bills on this one, if you'll allow it.
Dick nods and rolls a die.
Dick passes a note to Alberto: It doesn't appear that anyone is the wiser, though you might not know until the mission record is played back.
Tom: Getting a close-up of Jim-R's face and speaking into the microphone. "The Troubleshooter team hasn't even been outfitted, yet, and they have already glimpsed the face of the opposition. Jim-R has all but admitted to membership in a secret society and has displayed incontrovertible proof of possession of an unregistered mutation. He has also damaged Computer property and attempted to assault a fellow citizen."
Alberto: "I suggest you come along quietly, Jim-R. We will get you an IntSec escort to see that you receive a fair trial before the... Arrgh!" I suddenly fall over and start screaming. "In my head! No! I won't...somebody help!" I slowly raise my laser pistol to my head despite the efforts of my other arm to keep it pointed away from me. "Quickly!"
Tom: I speak into the multicorder. "It appears that Jim-R is using some sort of mutant power to turn Alberto-R against himself. Now, he will pay the price of his treason."
Donald: "Let go of him, mutant!" I fire at the traitor. 18. Damn.
Dick: The beam goes wide, setting the leg of another desk on fire.
Samuel: Firing. 17. Nope.
Dick: The beam hits the burning desk.
John: Firing. 9. Just shy.
Dick: The beam illuminates Jim-R's alarmed expression, the red light making him look sinister.
Condi: I fire. Nope. A miss.
Condi passes a note to Dick: Deliberately missing Jim-R, since he hasn't threatened me directly.
Dick: The beam hits the ceiling. Jim-R looks up at the sizzling sound above his head.
Alberto: While he's distracted, I briefly regain enough control over my motor functions to point and fire at Jim-R. 5. Margin is 7.
Dick: The laser slices through the reflec covering his back. Jim-R gasps and falls to the ground, clutching the exit wound on his chest.
Donald: I go over and check his vitals.
Dick: He is most definitely dead.
Donald: "Condi-R, call an IntSec patrol. Nobody touch the traitor. Tom-R, keep documenting. We'll want an unbroken record of these events."
Alberto: I get up slowly, holstering my laser. "Yes. We wouldn't want there to be any doubt about what happened here. Who knows what treasonous wares he has secreted on his person?"
Dick: While you guys wait for IntSec, I'm going to have a little chat with your team leader.
Condi (ooc): Crap. Who was supposed to be watching George?
Donald (ooc): I thought you were. Who knows what he'll saddle us with on his own?
Samuel (ooc): I guess we'll find out soon enough.

GM - Vice President Cheney
Alberto-R-GZS-1 (Alberto) - Attorney General Alberto Gonzales
Condi-R-ICE-1 (Condi) - Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice
Donald-R-UMI-1 (Donald) - Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld
George-R-BSH-1 (George) - President George W. Bush
John-R-SNO-1 (John) - Secretary of Treasury John Snow
Samuel-R-BMN-1 (Samuel) - Secretary of Energy Samuel Bodman
Tom-R-IDG-1 (Tom) - Former Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge