The Coveted Position

September 13, 2005

In the Isolation Booth

Dick: So, you three are investigating the screaming, right?
Donald: That seems to be the case. "Tom-R, you'll take point. I'll defend the rear."
Tom: "That seems like a tactical error, Donald-R. While I am skilled in hand to hand combat, my injury makes me unable to play a role on the team as an effective point man. I should take up the rear so I can provide cover fire with my laser while you advance."
Donald: "Do you want to take point, Alberto-R?"
Alberto: "I am far less skilled at close combat than either of you. I am resigned to center of the group where I can make good use of my laser."
Donald: "You know what the best way to solve this dispute is? Exercise, of course. I'll arm wrestle you for rear guard, Tom-R."
Tom: I give the open air next to me a knowing look. "You're right. He's pretty insensitive."
Alberto: Is Tom-R missing his good arm or his off-arm?
Dick: His off-arm.
Alberto: "We have a job to do, so there isn't time to argue. The arm wrestling contest is probably the best way to solve this. I'll judge."
Donald passes a note to Dick: Can I buy Arm Wrestling as my narrow for Violence?
Dick looks at Donald and nods.
Tom passes a note to Dick: Can I buy Arm Wrestling as my narrow specialty for Violence?
Dick passes a note to Tom: Sure.
Tom: "Indeed, we have very little time. I accept your challenge, Donald-R."
Dick: I'll accept Perversity bids, now.
Tom passes Dick a note: 5 to help me.
Donald passes Dick a note: 5 to help me.
Alberto passes Dick a note: 5 to hinder Tom-R.
Dick: Tom-R, your blood loss makes you weaker than normal, giving Donald-R an unfair advantage in this contest of strength.
Dick rolls in secret for Donald and then for Tom - 16 and 9.
Dick: After substantial straining, Tom-R is victorious.
Tom (ooc): Good to know that narrow specialty wasn't wasted.
Donald (ooc): You mean you..? Actually, we both wasted our Violence narrow on that.
Alberto: "Well, it looks like Donald-R is point. Now Tom-R and I will arm wrestle for the rear position."
Tom: "I thought you said you wanted to be in the middle."
Alberto: "That was before I found out a mutant was going to be behind me."
Tom: "So, you're one of those. Fine. I'm more than strong enough to beat you."
Alberto: "Just make sure you don't cheat by using your dirty powers to make yourself stronger or make me weaker."
Donald: I take notes. "That sounds like substandard morale. You know what really brings a team together? Friendly competition involving exercise. Instead of arm wrestling, you should compete in a contest to see who can do the most push-ups."
Tom: "But I only have one arm."
Donald: I slap Tom-R on the back warmly. "Then it will be even better exercise for you!"
Alberto: "Donald-R is right. We both have way too much energy. Let's make it quick, though. We have to investigate the source of that screaming."
Dick (ooc): I hear FEMA might need someone to head up their operations, soon. It sounds like all of you have what it takes to do that job.
Donald (ooc): Hey, now. The invasion of Iraq couldn't have gone any faster than it did.
Tom (ooc): I call dibs. I miss hanging out at the White House with you guys.
Alberto: Push-ups?
Dick: Yes. Pervs, anyone?
Alberto passes a note to Dick: 5 for me.
Donald passes a note to Dick: 5 against Tom-R.
Tom passes a note to Dick: I'm kind of doomed with only one arm, aren't I? No Pervs.
Dick rolls in secret for Alberto and Tom: 10 and 19.
Dick: Let's just say Tom-R clearly has a handicap in this event.
Everyone groans.
Dick: All three of you, gain 2 Perversity points. Just as you finish determining marching order, another scream emanates from the direction of the transbot's front.
Alberto: "We must hurry! After you, Donald-R."
Donald: I ready my laser and lead.
Tom: I follow.
Alberto: I follow Tom-R.
Dick: You pass through the Tech Services sleeper, the lounge car with the gutted technician, and then into the Power Services sleeper where a jackobot is rocking gently, muttering to itself. Several technicians are sprawled out around the car in various stages of dissection.
Tom passes a note to Dick: What is it saying? Hypersenses.
Dick rolls in secret - 10.
Dick passes a note to Tom: It appears to be arguing with itself over whether to kill you or warn you.
Tom passes a note to Dick: Warn us about what?
Dick passes a note to Tom: It doesn't say.
Donald: I break out the bullhorn and call out to anyone in the engine car. "We're here to protect you. Please come out."
Dick: There is a long pause. Then you hear the engine car door open, and another scream comes from beyond the door out of the sleeper car. A rattle of gunfire comes from the transtubes at the transbot station platform.
Donald: "Whatever is hurting the technicians is between the two cars."
Alberto: "We need to deal with this problem and get the transbot moving again. Those transtubes are still giving the Commies free equipment."
Tom: "We could blast the door open with a grenade. That should give the killer pause for thought."
Dick rolls in secret - 3 and 17.
Dick passes Alberto a note: That seems like a sound plan to you. It might even get the transbot moving by setting off the explosives John-R set to propel the transbot.
Dick passes Donald a note: The blast of a grenade would probably destroy the coupling between the engine and the rest of the transbot. It might also set off a chain reaction that causes the explosives John-R set up as a rocket to go up all at the same time, probably blowing up the entire front half of the transbot.
Donald: "We don't want to do that?"
Alberto: "Why not? It would save time and might even get the transbot moving."
Donald (shouting): "It's not safe! The explosion could set off a chain reaction and kill everyone on the transbot!"
Tom: "That would be bad. You'd better kick down the door and engage the killer in hand to hand combat."
Alberto: "I'm hardly a demolitions expert, so if you think a grenade might blow up the entire transbot, I'll believe you. We'll be right behind you, Donald-R."
Donald: I know I'll regret this, but I'll ready myself to blast whatever is behind the door and then kick the door open.
Dick rolls in secret and ignores the result.
Dick: You give the door a swift kick, and it slams open, revealing a blood-slicked area between the cars. Dim light filters down from a large hole in the covering that serves as a roof. There doesn't appear to be anyone here.
Alberto passes Dick a note: Staying carefully behind Tom-R, laser at the ready. As soon as something surprising happens, I'm going to "accidentally" shoot him in the back of the head with it.
Donald: Training my laser on the hole above us. "Tom-R, could you give me a boost? I have an idea about where our killer might be hiding."
Dick: 2 Pervs for Donald-R.
Tom: "I'd be happy to help, Donald-R, but my handicap makes it impossible for me to fulfill your request. Alberto-R, could you help him up? I'm sure we've got this killer on the run, but we need to finish the job."
Alberto: I stiffen, holster my laser, and comply.
Tom passes a note to Dick: While they're doing this, I'm going to slip behind Alberto-R and ready my laser. The first time I have an excuse to shoot at something, I'm going to shoot him in the head by mistake.
Dick rolls in secret and ignores the result.
Dick: Donald-R's head passes through the hole in the ceiling, when something strong grabs him by the armpits and drags him into the darkness.
Donald: "Aiieeee!"
Dick rolls some dice and ignores the results.
Dick: The bone-chilling event startles Alberto-R, who takes an involuntary step backward just as Tom-R fires his laser at the darkness.
Dick rolls in secret - 12.
Dick: The scarlet beam sets Alberto-R's hair on fire and melts away a sizeable chunk of scalp. Treat as snafued.
Alberto: I turn in shock and rage, drawing my laser. "You Commie mutant traitor! I knew you were going to try to kill me!"
Tom: Panicking and afraid for my life, I fire at Alberto-R.
Donald (ooc): Um, guys? Can I get a turn in here somewhere?
Dick: Yes. Let's take turns.
Dick passes a note to Donald: You've been grappled by a blood-covered jackobot that looks like it's been trying to devour the flesh of its victims, with little success.
Donald passes a note to Dick: I try to kick it in the knees in hopes of making it lose its balance. Unarmed is 10. Spending 5 Pervs, if you'll allow it.
Dick: Okay.
Dick rolls in secret - 1.
Dick passes Donald a note: You manage to wrench its knee severely, and a shower of sparks sprays from the joint as it falls backward, not letting go of you.
Dick: Those of you below hear a metallic clank, and then a shower of sparks rains down on your heads. A moment later, a heavy object falls on the roof. Tom-R.
Tom: As I was saying, panicking and afraid for my life, I fire at Alberto-R, shooting to kill, this time. Energy is 12.
Dick: So, who's spending Pervs on this check?
Alberto: 5 against.
Tom: 5 for.
Donald: 5 for.
Alberto (ooc): What? Why? What did I ever do to you?
Donald (ooc): Nothing personal. The sooner you guys resolve your differences, the sooner you can help me wrestle the Frankenstein jackobot, and Tom-R is in a better position to kill you than you're in a position to kill him.
Dick: I'll let you roll, Tom.
Tom rolls in public - 2.
Alberto (ooc): Well crap.
Dick: Tom-R's laser cuts through Alberto-R's reflec and several inches across his belly. A gruesome smell like overcooked sausage-like fills the area. Gut wounds prove to be extraordinarily painful. Alberto-R, you are Down.
Dick rolls in secret - 18.
Dick: Tom-R, write a number 21 on your character sheet.
Tom (ooc): So much for accidents...
Dick rolls in secret - 3.
Dick passes Donald a note: The jackobot slides its metallic hands to your wrists and tries to rip your arms off. Treat as Wounded.
Donald passes Dick a note: Any chance I can reduce or prevent the damage with Rubbery Bones?
Dick rolls a die in secret - 16.
Dick passes Donald a note: Your arms stretch like taffy, much to the jackobot's surprise, allowing you to avoid damage. What do you do?
Donald passes Dick a note: I'm going to continue using my mutation, this time slipping out of the jackobot's grasp.
Dick rolls in secret - 9.
Dick passes a note to Donald: You slip out of the jackobot's grasp like water through a sieve. The only downside is your arms now look like six foot long strings of pull taffy.
Dick: There is a squishing sound from where Donald-R disappeared. Tom-R?
Tom: I'm going to assume the target is at large and that Donald-R is surely dead, by now.
Dick: Is that your action?
Tom: No.
Tom passes Dick a note: If a grenade goes off in this area, will it blow up the transbot or just get it moving? Demolition is 1.
Dick: You're out of your mind, you know that?
Dick rolls in secret - 16.
Dick passes Tom a note: The explosion might set off a chain reaction that will cause a wormhole to open and suck the transbot into another dimension. Of course, you could be wrong. It might make the transbot move. It might also blow the transbot sky-high. You realize vaguely that you have no idea what it would do.
Tom (ooc): I guess I'll just have to take my chances, then.
Tom passes a note to Dick: My actual action is to recover a non-Commie grenade from Alberto-R.
Donald (ooc): Please don't, Tom. I have everything under control.
Dick rolls in secret - 6.
Dick passes a note to Donald: The jackobot rises to a crouch and draws a laser pistol. What do you do?
Donald passes Dick a note: I try to jump kick the jackobot and knock it off the transbot.
Dick: Roll it.
Donald rolls - 19.
Donald: Aw crap.
Alberto (ooc): So much for having everything under control...
Dick passes Donald a note: You overshoot your target. Give me an Agility check.
Donald rolls - 16.
Dick rolls in secret - 9.
Dick passes Donald a note: You sail over the jackobot and off of the transbot, where you bounce like a rubber ball and roll to safety.
Dick: Tom-R?
Tom: Pulling the pin with my teeth and hucking it onto the roof.
Dick: Roll it.
Tom: 5 Pervs, if you'll let me.
Dick: Yes.
Tom rolls - 6.
Alberto (ooc): Nice one.
Dick: The grenade sails into the jackobot's lap. It has just enough time to look at it before it explodes, ripping part of the roof of the engine car.
Dick rolls in secret and ignores the result.
Dick: A moment later, you hear the pop of a small explosion, followed by the pops of two others. It sounds like the entire transbot is going to explode around you, but you get the feeling that you are beginning to move forward.

GM - Vice President Cheney
Alberto-R-GZS-1 (Alberto) - Attorney General Alberto Gonzales
Condi-R-ICE-1 (Condi) - Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice
Donald-R-UMI-1 (Donald) - Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld
George-R-BSH-1 (George) - President George W. Bush
John-R-SNO-1 (John) - Secretary of Treasury John Snow
Samuel-R-BMN-1 (Samuel) - Secretary of Energy Samuel Bodman
Tom-R-IDG-1 (Tom) - Former Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge