Sam: When last we left Hogwart's Bus Drivers, they were on their way to meet up again after several hours of painting, hiking, and using the
room at the honeymoon hotel for its intended purpose.
Nate (ooc): Don't forget buying inebriants.
John (ooc): Inebriants?
Bill (ooc): I think he means booze, John.
John (ooc): Yes, I know. But is that even a word?
Mary (ooc): If it wasn't before, it is now. Are we getting drunk enough to forget the Verbena and Cultist? And Nate, if you say "If there
are any girls around, I want to DO them", I'm using you as a test subject for the headlight lasers.
Nate (ooc): Remember? Vow of chastity? Don't deny me the only source of angst my character has.
Ed (ooc): We have headlight lasers?
Mary (ooc): Not yet. If we did, there wouldn't be much reason to test them, would there?
Fanny (ooc): Inebriants. Would those be ants who gather sugar for the sole purpose of fermenting it?
John (ooc): And stimulants would be ants who are hooked on speed?
Bill (ooc): Yes, and plants are ants who drink Jolt and code all night...
John (ooc): What?
Sam (ooc): I agree. Where did that come from?
Bill (ooc): Nevermind. Very vague allusion.
Nate (ooc): Inebriant is a real word, just not a well-used one.
John (ooc): Sure it is...
Sam: Moving back to reality, Clara and Walter have just finished their third pint of Speckled Hen when Moses and Aaron here come down from
the mountain.
Ed (ooc): Moses and Aaron?
John (ooc): I think he means us, Ed.
Mary: "So, how was the hike?"
John: "Aside from the mojo leeches, quicksand, and tangle with an Elder God, you mean?"
Ed: "And don't forget falling down the mountain into the mud."
John: "Oh, and the Nephandi children."
Ed: "And Eric."
John: "I was counting him among the Nephandi children."
Mary: "Sounds like I missed the fun." She is absolutely serious. "Would you like a drink?"
Ed: "I'm parched. Thanks."
John: "Yes."
Ed: We tell her what we learned.
John (ooc): Hmm. We're drinking on an empty stomach after a day of exercise. Are you going to roll the dice and see if we're getting drunk, Sam?
Sam (ooc): No. Nor am I going to roll the dice to see if the Verbena and the Cultist are having a good time.
Bill (ooc): Aww...
Mary: "I missed ALL the fun. All we did this afternoon was buy a minivan from a salesman with a sheep fetish.
John: Homer is going to make a point of not asking.
Ed: "A sheep fetish?"
Mary: Clara takes a deep breath.
Nate: Walter opens another beer and takes a deep drink.
Mary: Clara tells them the story, glossing over certain details.
Sam (ooc): So does that about wrap it up for the recaps?
John (ooc): I think so. We mentioned Nephandi bringing the petrified demon across the Gauntlet and into our world, right?
Sam (ooc): Of course.
Bill: Draw and Christabel walk out of the hotel. Draw is acting as though nothing unusual has happened.
Fanny: So is Christabel. There are scratches on the back of Draw's neck, though.
Bill: "Ah, Walter. I see you brought the inebriants. Mind if I...?"
Nate: Walter hands him a fifth of whiskey.
Bill: Draw drinks well over a fifth of it.
Mary: "From what Homer and Allan have told us, I think it would be a good idea to go to Helm Crag tonight, in case the Nephandi decide to pitch their tents."
Bill: "Why? What did they tell you?"
John: Homer takes a deep breath and tells them.
Bill: "It sounds like you barely escaped in broad daylight. Wouldn't it be even more dangerous in that valley at night?"
Fanny: "He makes a convincing argument, Clara."
Mary: "Perhaps, but an ambush is probably the last thing they'll expect."
Bill: "Actually, I'd say the Second Coming is the last thing they expect."
John (ooc): Nephandi Flying Circus cancelled on account of Judgement Day?
Bill (ooc): Ah'll be bahck.
Everyone groans.
Mary (ooc): Jeez. I now have the image of Jesus on saying that to the Apostles on the day of the Ascension.
Bill (ooc): Yes. And Judas saying 'Hasta la vista, baby' to him in the garden.
Mary (ooc): Or calling the Apostles by saying, "Come with me if you want to live."
John (ooc): Arnold Schwartzeneggar as Jesus Christ. I think my head is going to explode, now.
Sam (ooc): I suppose it could be worse. You could have Jim Carrey. "If I don't come back from the dead in three days, wait longer."
Bill (ooc): Or Mel Gibson. "They may take our lives, but they will never take MY FATHER'S KINGDOM!"
Sam (ooc): I think we're starting to stretch the limits of reason, now.
Ed (ooc): Yes, we're getting close to 'All Your Base' territory, now.
Nate: "If the Second Coming takes place, I hardly think there is anything they can do. If we ambush a circus of Nephandi, on the other
hand, I think we can be certain they will retaliate, to say nothing of that vampire being awake when they do."
Ed: "True, Clara. We might want to watch the area, though, even if we aren't there in the flesh."
Fanny: Christabel pats her purse meaningfully. "I think I can manage that."
Mary: "Excellent, Christabel. Who wants to take second watch?"
Bill: "I could."
Fanny: "No need. I'll take some ginseng and ginko biloba. I don't need any sleep."
Bill: "Good, because I could certainly use some sleep."
Sam: Christabel. Coincidental. Dif 5 with specialized focus.
Fanny: How many successes do I need?
Sam: One for the Effect. Three for duration.
Fanny (rolling): Let's start with a nice botch.
Sam: Three more points of Paradox.
Fanny: Are those ever going to come crashing down on me?
Sam: Sure. The Backlash wipes out your Paradox, and you promptly fall into a coma.
Fanny: Christabel murmurs as she nods off. "That must have been the kava kava."
Bill: "I guess that leaves the shagged out Cultist to save the day. Hope you have a lot of whiskey, Walter."
Sam: Same Dif, Bill.
Bill (rolling): Two. None. +1 Dif. Two. Draw finishes the fifth of whiskey. "You know why they call it a fifth, don't you?"
Nate: "I'd imagine it has something to do with some unit of measure or other."
Bill: Draw sways. "Nope. It's because it takes that much to get me a fifth of the way drunk. Hand me another flask. I can see my body down there. It isn't drunk enough yet by half." How many successes to watch the valley for unusual activity for the night?
Sam: Seven, dif 4.
Bill (rolling): None. Starting over. Three. Three. Two.
Sam: I take it the rest of you are going to bed?
Nate: Walter will ask Allan to help him carry Christabel to her room.
Ed: Allan hoists her over his shoulder with one arm.
Nate (ooc): Or not...
Ed (ooc): Strength 4 with the Powerful Arms specialty. If you've got it...
Nate (ooc): I see.
Sam: At midnight, a caravan of lories appears out of thin air on the A591, headed south, and parks at the side of the road on the eastern edge of the Valley of Elder Gods. A score of men and women get out of the lories and begin unloading them.
Bill: Draw wakes up the rest of the cabal. "The circus has arrived."
Fanny (ooc): Am I still in a coma?
Sam: Not quite, but your entire body is limp.
Nate (ooc): The Verbena has been gimped.
Ed: Walter picks her up and carries her along.
Fanny (ooc): I don't know whether to thank you or slap you, Ed.
Ed (ooc): Neither. You have no control over your body, remember?
John: "Up for another hike?"
Ed: "Good point. Let's be sure to buy some water before we go."
Bill: "Why do we need water when we have a cooler of ale and spirits?"
Mary: "We're trying to AVOID dehydration, Draw."
Bill: "There's pleny of water in beer, Clara. New studies show that the human body no longer needs sixty-four ounces of water a day. Juice, soda, and even coffee will suffice. Why not beer?"
Nate: "You can drink beer if you like, Draw. We'll stick with water."
Bill (ooc): There's a thought. Clara has Matter. She could turn water into whiskey, couldn't she?
Mary (ooc): Yes, but she wouldn't.
John: We buy some water before climbing to Helm Crag again.
Sam (ooc): Do you?
John (ooc): What do you mean? There IS a store open somewhere, isn't there?
Sam (ooc): No.
John (ooc): No. Fine. We find one that's closed and rob it, then.
Mary (ooc): Maybe YOU do, John, but Clara isn't.
Sam (ooc): Are you sure you want to do that, John?
John (ooc): No, but what other option do we have?
Mary (ooc): Is it really hot enough after dark to make dehydration a problem?
Sam (ooc): No.
Mary (ooc): I didn't think so. Why don't we skip the water?
Nate (ooc): She's right, John.
John: Fine. We hike up to Helm Crag.
Sam: Everyone give me a Stamina + Survival, dif 6.
Fanny (ooc): Even me?
Sam: No. Ed, dif 7 for you.
(They roll)
Ed (ooc): Ha! Two successes.
Mary (ooc): One.
Bill (ooc): Four. Draw is drunk, i.e. utterly oblivious to pain and suffering.
John (ooc): None.
Nate (ooc): None.
Sam: Ed is keeping a decent pace, in spite of carrying Christabel. Bill is taking long strides up the slope as though he's walking
downhill, instead. Mary is barely keeping up with Ed. John and Nate have to sit down and rest after the first mile.
Nate: "This isn't exactly the contemplative life I'm used to living."
John: "This is the second time I've made this trip today. I'm still a bit tired."
Ed (ooc): This is the second time I've made this trip today AND I'm carrying a limp witch.
Bill (ooc): That's nothing. Witches only weigh as much as a duck. Draw is jogging uphill on three fifths of whiskey.
John (ooc): Possibly as a direct result of the whiskey...
Bill: Draw goes down the slope, hands each of them a fifth of whiskey and tells them to "rehydrate like a Cultist." Life 3 to refresh them to their original strength.
Sam: Dif 5 with specialized focus.
Bill (rolling): Two. Two. Enough for them to make it up?
Sam: Yes. At last, all of you reach Helm Crag, from which vantage point you can see the Nephandi setting up their circus tents in a pentagram around the ruined building.
Mary (ooc): I'm not even going to ask how that is possible using nine tents.
Bill (ooc): Correspondence 5.
Mary (ooc): Right.
Ed: Allan sets Christabel down so she can see what's going on down there.
John (ooc): Her head falls forward.
Sam: Actually, she can now move her head a bit, after a fashion.
John (ooc): Say it, Fanny. "My brains, his booze, his strength, and your knives against twenty Nephandi and a vampire, and a little head
jiggle is supposed to make me happy?"
Mary (ooc): And who am I supposed to be?
John (ooc): Princess Buttercup?
Mary (ooc): Um, no. If you start in with the Princess Bride quotes, though, I might stab YOU in the heart with a knife, John.
John (ooc): On second thought, let's not say something like that. 'Tis a silly movie.
Mary (ooc): And if you continue quoting Holy Grail, I think I might suck your heart out of your chest with a straw.
Bill (ooc): I have to agree with her on that point, John.
Ed: "Looks like preparations for a summoning ritual to me."
Mary (ooc): So, are they doing anything else, or just setting up tents?
Sam: A few of them are unloading large, wooden crates from the truck with the words "Pews, Altars, Etc..." stamped on the side.
John (ooc): You're kidding, right?
Sam: Nope. They open one of the crates and remove a sacrificial altar covered in demonic faces fashioned from human flesh.
John (ooc): Let me guess. The company has diversified its products?
Sam (ooc): They wanted to maximize the size of their customer base, appeal to all kinds of religious types - Catholics, Protestants, Wiccans, and so forth.
John (ooc): Yes, but Nephandi?! There should be a law against providing evil cultists with sacrificial altars in the World of Darkness.
Bill (ooc): I'd love to see one of their product catalogues, though. Think about it.
Mary (ooc): I'm trying not to...
John (ooc): Good point, Bill. Hey Nate, do you think you could hook the cabal up with a Pews, Altars, Etc... catalogue.
Fanny (ooc): Yes. Maybe they're having a sale on consecrated athames.
Mary (ooc): We can TELL the faces are made of human flesh, Sam?
Sam (ooc): No, but there are some little details a Storyteller just can't resist throwing in.
Mary (ooc): Right.
Mary: "So, what now?"
John: "Seeing as we are out-numbered, I think a battle plan would be in order."
Fanny: "Would it be enough just to disrupt their ritual?"
Sam: Everyone give me an Intelligence + Occult check, dif 8.
(Everyone rolls)
Bill (ooc): Nope.
Ed (ooc): Four successes.
Mary (ooc): None.
John (ooc): Hmm. Two dice in the pool and dif 8? How about a botch?
Nate (ooc): One.
Sam: Walter, you realize all the Nephandi in Scotland and Northern England must be involved with this ritual, so it must be a pretty big deal. Allan, you realize this ritual can only be attempted once every century or two, so disrupting it would solve the problem. Homer, well...
John (ooc): I suppose Homer is absolutely certain this is just the annual Nephandi company picnic?
Sam: Sure. That works.
Ed: Allan relates all this information to the rest of the cabal, clearing up any possible confusion.
Mary: So, what do we need to do to disrupt their ritual?
Sam: And that's where we'll end for the week.
ST (Sam) - Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Clara (Mary) - Mary Shelley
Christabel (Fanny) - Fanny Brawne
Draw (Bill) - William Blake
Homer (John) - John Keats
Walter (Nate) - Nathaniel Hawthorne
Allan (Ed) - Edgar Allan Poe